Fighting with myself

When that bubble of happiness bursts, you'll see the sprinkles spread miles wide.

It is like the hollowness inside you starts to expand and slowly you are crumbling from the inside.

Who can help you when your enemy is yourself? The hardest battle to fight is the one where the world can't see the fight. It happens with you, within you and there's no surrender.

First, the physical exterior starts to break off. The thing that made you feel strong, always, is now working against you. You see your defences weakening. Without your body, your mind starts giving up and you lose before it had even begun.

All the walls you create, the barriers to your head, the pillars supporting every thought you've ever had, the place that hides behind lock and key and the monsters lurking behind it, they come out to play.

To taunt you and tease you, to see you fall as they appease you.

No struggle, no thrashing, it goes swiftly in denial.

All the work you did to make you who you are, all the secrets you hid, keeping people afar. But who knows you better than yourself.

And who could win a fight with a monster in their own skin? One would fight a hundred demons instead.

Now if I ask you a simple question my friend, 'Would you ever trust a person looking back at you through your own eyes?'

I'm made of blood and fire, defiance and scar tissue, secrets and walls, wisdom and vulnerability.

I am my own weakness and strength.

In a war against myself, who would win and who would lose?

But biggest of them all, would it matter?

There is no surrender, no quitting.

The result isn't the point, it's the suffering through the ordeal, the fight, not the victory.

How would I be able to look into my own eyes knowing I didn't give it my all?

The turning point in a fight like that is changing.

You know yourself, only up to a point. We're humans, we evolve, we grow, sometimes without knowing it ourselves.

And I can change myself faster than one can say 'Schrödinger'.

Reset. Evolve. Fight Begins.

One. Two. Three.

It is kill or be killed.